I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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