Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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