he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
