I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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