The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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