i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
