So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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