SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
