Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
