just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
