awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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