can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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