She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I didn't notice because vodka
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
