You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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