sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
