I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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