This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
