I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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