The panties match.
I'll be right there.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
