this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
