I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
