Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We are two peas in an std pod
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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