I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
