2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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