I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
