I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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