Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
