Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
