I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
