she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
