This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
