I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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