I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
