yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
