I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
