YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
