she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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