just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
