The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Boobs are out for the taking
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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