You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
