i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
