so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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