My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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