HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I need water and some morals
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
