Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
