I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
