PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
