The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
