i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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