yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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