Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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