what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm bleeding and have questions
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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