hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
