I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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