What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
