Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
cat food counts as protein by the way
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
