You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize