This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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