I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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