Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
