At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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