She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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