I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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