She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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