I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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