You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
