shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
