Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Hippo gnu deer
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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