Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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