I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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