Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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