the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
